
Becoming a parent is an extraordinary journey, but it can also be one of the most challenging transitions in life. For many of us, especially those like me who grew up following cultural norms of caring for a home, family, and husband, it’s easy to forget one crucial part of the equation: taking care of yourself. As the eldest twin, I naturally stepped into the role of the responsible firstborn. When I found myself caring for three children under the age of 1.5 entirely on my own, I realized just how important it is to ask for help.
In this post, I’ll share my personal experience and provide strategies for building a postpartum support network that truly works for you. Let’s redefine what it means to be a supermom by embracing support, not just surviving, but thriving.
Why a Postpartum Support Network is Essential
Navigating the postpartum period is a delicate balancing act of managing your physical recovery, mental health, and adjusting to a new family dynamic. Studies consistently show that a strong postpartum support network can significantly reduce the risk of postpartum depression and anxiety. Yet, many parents hesitate to ask for help, whether due to cultural expectations, personal pride, or fear of burdening others.
Remember: Asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness. It’s an act of strength and self-awareness.
How to Build Your Postpartum Support Network
1. Identify Your Needs
Start by identifying what kind of support would make the most impact:
Do you need someone to take over cooking or cleaning?
Are you looking for emotional support or someone to talk to?
Would childcare relief, even for an hour, help you catch up on rest?
2. Communicate Effectively
Once you know your needs, use clear and kind communication to express them. From Chapter 1 of the workbook, here’s a framework you can use:
Be specific: Instead of saying, “I need help,” say, “Could you pick up groceries for me this week?”
Be honest: Let others know how much their help means to you. “Your support would make such a difference in helping me get through this.”
Set boundaries: If someone offers help but it’s not what you need, thank them and redirect. “I appreciate your offer to visit, but what I really need is help with meal prep.”
3. Lean on Your Village
Your village can include:
Family: Ask grandparents, siblings, or close relatives to step in for childcare or errands.
Friends: Many friends want to help but don’t know how. Make a list of tasks they can choose from.
Professionals: Postpartum doulas, lactation consultants, or therapists specializing in maternal mental health can offer life-changing support.
4. Create a Meal Train
Organize a meal train through websites like MealTrain or CaringBridge, or simply set up a group chat to coordinate drop-offs. Let others know about any dietary restrictions.
5. Utilize Community Resources
Look into local resources like:
Parent support groups
Maternal mental health hotlines
Faith-based or cultural community programs
My Turning Point: Embracing Self-Care
One moment stands out vividly. Exhausted from sleepless nights, I finally allowed a trusted family member to take over for a few hours. I used that time to do something simple: walk through a store alone for 30 minutes. When I came back, I felt refreshed and ready to tackle the day. It was a small act, but it was transformative.
That experience reminded me that self-care is not selfish. By caring for myself, I could be more present for my children.
If you’re navigating the postpartum period, know this: you don’t have to do it alone. Building a postpartum support network isn’t just about asking for help; it’s about creating a community of care around you and your baby.
Start today. Reach out to one person in your circle and share what you need. Remember, it’s okay to lean on others. In doing so, you’re not only strengthening yourself but also setting a powerful example for your children about the importance of connection and support.
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